Thursday, June 30, 2005

love ( lŭv ) n. ?

I've questioned love before and recently I thought about it again..precisely around Valentines when I walked around and once again saw all the flowers and toys and etc for sale, so here is Rant about Love part 2- i hold no claims to this post retaining logical consistency...
Does this 'love' thing really exist? And this may seem like an age old question but I don't really think it is..I think it is a modern question i.e 20th century onwards. I googled the origin of the word and the first site Ask Oxford- and of course we trust Oxford- says that 'The Indo-European root is (also behind) Latin lubet 'it is pleasing' and lubido 'desire' " .So there it is, love comes from the same place as the word libido! So why then have I been made to grow up thinking that love was some fuzzy cuddly feeling you feel inside..? But then we come to different kinds of love..AGAPE..'love' of God (the Christian one) ok it has given me some warm fuzzies in my time...But then really is that what it is? I think love has been elevated into an abstract concept by people who are interested in benefiting from it in the entrepreneurial aspect...I mean until last century people used to get married because their parents obsessed, assessed and then possessed their child a mate for the benefit of their soceity...None of this buying roses for how much! going to restaurants for a romantic dinner for another obscenity of spending..and etc..And ok maybe there are people who skint it out at the [insert cheap fast food joint of choice]..but don't you think you'd rather be in that five star restaurant eating less food for more money? I don't know, I may be being quite removed in my dissent because in the end I don't really care where I go to eat or whatever..But it just seems like there is something twisted and capitalist about the institute of 'love' these days? And back in the day of course its very close brother institue marriage was straight forward..'yes my daughter will cost these many cows'...But now corporations who have NO vested interest in our well being have people hoodwinked and make believe that it is the size of a bouquet or number of carats that matter in the courtship process. And even without those specific things its probably going to be the car,clothes shoes,hair that you purchased in order to look good for the possibility of acquiring that mate. But then again i dont even care about these things most of the time,but I can see how they can be a factor.
On a side note, I watched this documentary once called The Human Sexes, it captured humans as they would animals-Crocodile Hunter/Attenbrough style- in the mating process- and I always remember their portrayal of dancing as a sort of mating dance...
Anyway,(mini spoiler to follow)If you've read or watched Pride and Prejudice then you'll notice at the end , the only couples that remain are those based on respect and caring. And so 'love' for family, is that 'love' or respect and caring? But then here is where I get more confused because I know that you can feel this 'love' feeling for some family members but not even respect or care for them...Go back to the humans like animals parallel - does a pride of lions stay together because they 'love' each other or for survival? In writing that last comment I see how sad it can be without the possibility of 'love' ,if we were reduced to animal instinct ... its a cold place to be ... But what if that it how it is and 'love' is just an illusion?
Its just semantics, you can say...But my biggest problem with these semantics is the use of them to create a billion dollar industry that preys on suckers who are willing to believe that this apparent feeling 'love' can be bought. And I know this isn't an epiphany or anything, Alicia Keyes sang about it the other day...But I'm just confused and don't know if the existence of this word in its 20th century ambiguity is beneficial to us as a society.

**DISCLAIMER: the writer reserves the right to change her opinion once she hopefully passes from this period of jaded unbliss.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

**~ngo ndee-njay, thas my ndee-njay!!!~**

this is an audio post - click to play

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

a new attitude

I got the below quote from a friends blog - -thanks L.K..holla!
This attitude seems more appealing then the pessimistic one...

"The best protection policy by far is to vigorously pursue winning rather than to expend most of one's energy (as most do) on avoiding defeat." -TOM PETERS

Sunday, June 26, 2005

A Moment of Silence of my favourite poems...may seem long but all worth the read...thanks to Zu for puttin me onto it...

A Moment of Silence

By Emmanuel Ortiz

Before I start this poem, I'd like to ask you to join me in a moment of silence in honor of those who died in the World Trade Center and the Pentagon last September 11th.

I would also like to ask you to offer up a moment of silence for all of those who have been harassed, imprisoned, disappeared, tortured, raped, or killed in retaliation for those strikes, for the victims in both Afghanistan and the U.S.

And if I could just add one more thing…
A full day of silence for the tens of thousands of Palestinians who have died at the hands of U.S.-backed Israeli forces over decades of occupation.

Six months of silence for the million and-a-half Iraqi people, mostly children, who have died of malnourishment or starvation as a result of an 11-year U.S. embargo against the country.

Before I begin this poem, two months of silence for the Blacks under Apartheid in South Africa, where homeland security made them aliens in their own country

Nine months of silence for the dead in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, where death rained down and peeled back every layer of concrete, steel, earth and skin and the survivors went on as if alive.

A year of silence for the millions of dead in Viet Nam—a people, not a war—for those who know a thing or two about the scent of burning fuel, their relatives' bones buried in it, their babies born of it.

A year of silence for the dead in Cambodia and Laos, victims of a secret war ... ssssshhhhh .... Say nothing ... we don't want them to learn that they are dead.

Two months of silence for the decades of dead in Colombia, whose names, like the corpses they once represented, have piled up and slipped off our tongues.

Before I begin this poem,
An hour of silence for El Salvador...
An afternoon of silence for Nicaragua...
Two days of silence for the Guetmaltecos...
None of whom ever knew a moment of peace in their living years.
45 seconds of silence for the 45 dead at Acteal, Chiapas
25 years of silence for the hundred million Africans who found their graves
far deeper in the ocean than any building could poke into the sky.
There will be no DNA testing or dental records to identify their remains.
And for those who were strung and swung from the heights of sycamore trees
in the south, the north, the east, the west ... 100 years of silence ...

For the hundreds of millions of indigenous peoples from this half of right
Whose land and lives were stolen,
In postcard-perfect plots like Pine Ridge, Wounded Knee, Sand Creek, Fallen
Timbers, or the Trail of Tears.
Names now reduced to innocuous magnetic poetry on the refrigerator of our
consciousness ...

So you want a moment of silence?
And we are all left speechless
Our tongues snatched from our mouths
Our eyes stapled shut

A moment of silence
And the poets have all been laid to rest
The drums disintegrating into dust

Before I begin this poem,
You want a moment of silence
You mourn now as if the world will never be the same

And the rest of us hope to hell it won't be.
Not like it always has been

Because this is not a 9-1-1 poem
This is a 9/10 poem,
It is a 9/9 poem,
A 9/8 poem,
A 9/7 poem

This is a 1492 poem.
This is a poem about what causes poems like this to be written

And if this is a 9/11 poem, then
This is a September 11th poem for Chile, 1971
This is a September 12th poem for Steven Biko in South Africa, 1977
This is a September 13th poem for the brothers at Attica Prison, New York, 1971.

This is a September 14th poem for Somalia, 1992.
This is a poem for every date that falls to the ground in ashes
This is a poem for the 110 stories that were never told
The 110 stories that history chose not to write in textbooks
The 110 stories that that CNN, BBC, The New York Times, and Newsweek ignored
This is a poem for interrupting this program.

And still you want a moment of silence for your dead?
We could give you lifetimes of empty:
The unmarked graves
The lost languages
The uprooted trees and histories
The dead stares on the faces of nameless children

Before I start this poem we could be silent forever
Or just long enough to hunger,
For the dust to bury us
And you would still ask us
For more of our silence.

If you want a moment of silence
Then stop the oil pumps
Turn off the engines and the televisions
Sink the cruise ships
Crash the stock markets
Unplug the marquee lights,
Delete the instant messages,
Derail the trains, the light rail transit
If you want a moment of silence, put a brick through the window of Taco
And pay the workers for wages lost
Tear down the liquor stores,
The townhouses, the White Houses, the jailhouses, the Penthouses and the

If you want a moment of silence,
Then take it
On Super Bowl Sunday,
The Fourth of July
During Dayton's 13 hour sale
Or the next time your white guilt fills the room where my beautiful people
have gathered

You want a moment of silence
Then take it
Before this poem begins.
Here, in the echo of my voice,
In the pause between goosesteps of the second hand
In the space between bodies in embrace,
Here is your silence
Take it.
But take it all
Don' t cut in line.
Let your silence begin at the beginning of crime.

But we,
Tonight we will keep right on singing
For our dead.

— Emmanuel Ortiz 9.11.02

Saturday, June 25, 2005

the WHITE BAND one

you guys heard of this campaign? the ONE campaign..Im not sure about it..I mean how many G8s have meant to deliver but just left poor countries crippled and dependent instead...But what if this is the ONE?
Celebs are trying to get people to sign a letter addressed to Bush (may be a twit but still got the power) - encouraging him to deliver on this G8 meeting and help make poverty history and yeh we can say its just another is this different?? but Im embarrassed to admit that Im one of those pathetic star struck people and am therefore one familiar with the formidable power of celebrity...this campaign shows promise..But all it is a vehicle to encourage the real people with their fingers hovering over the red buttons- the Mr.G8-ses....
Despite the previous post...sometimes there is NO space for pessimism...lets pray something comes of this...that G8 will do right this time..And im not saying that this group of 8 guys will suddenly deliver us, but at some point back in the day, most of these countries had a hand in putting the poor countries in the hole and its just been ridiculous trying to get out! they can help us help ourselves...there is enough money in the world!!i know im just preaching to the choir..But i feel like its been a while since ive heard anyone singin...I myself am a hypocrite and ashamedly quite useless...! And you know despite putting up this post and link in support of this campaign..why do a bunch of American celebs and Madiba have to be the mouthpiece for this issue? Ok, yes then since the world works in a twisted way (attention to useleness provided by idiots(see above) like myself) that means they are probably the most influential people for a campaign like this BUT then why arent we all wearing these white bands in support?? have you seen those LiveSTRONG bands..! its like a cult!!..where is the support for this?...where did this apathy come from? ..WHAT ARE WE DOING??

...lets get frantic with unrelenting hope...


Monday, June 20, 2005

curBaGe part 3

isnt it interesting when you realise that you did not nearly mean as much to someones life as you thought you did? Worse still when that person was just trailing you along...taking advantage of the gullibility and taking you on what you thought was a two people ride but its actually a solo trip guided by your imagination as auto pilot.Its sobering...makes you cynical...but you know as I have quoted before 'pessimists are never dissapointed' and if this means I go back to those dark pessimistic days then its fine. Because at least then i do not have to contend with spirit squanderers who leave you feeling deflated and hopeless.
Pessimism it is...then things
can only get better

...and on that note..may the curBaGe series end- homeboy has had ENOUGH airtime!!

Friday, June 17, 2005

that 'we're even worse than niggers' movie

i finally watched Hotel Rwanda a couple of weeks! its so dissapointing when a movie does not live up to its glad i was not dissapointed....things that i felt/came to mind: pathetic,disgusting,disturbing,sad, was just NOT right what happened/is still happening someplaces...what are we going to do?
..sumin i wrote some time ago...


Here is the forecast
It is looking grim,
The blazing sun is fading,
The future looks dim...

A storm is brewing Africa,
Small raindrops...
drip - the plague is near,
drop- the plague is here

A storm is brewing Africa,
the wind is blowing,
drip- fear is building,
drop- fear is mounting,

A storm is brewing Africa,
Where will you be?
In a shelter?
But what of the homeless?
This is humanitys test.
And what of the sick?

Compassion holds out the measuring stick.

A storm is brewing Africa,
And beyond this drizzle,
The real rain is still to come,
Ravaging...this storm will not subside,
Not until it is done..

What will we do Africa?
Will we watch the helpless
Drowning in the flood of death?
It is still early Africa,
This is the forecast,
There is time for this broadcast
To reach the mass head...
Before the mass is dead.

Its time for flood control Africa,
Time for our spirit to be reborn,
Before we get caught.. the eye of the storm.