Thursday, July 06, 2006


so for my huge huge array of fans whove been wonderin where i dissappeared to...I moved back to the land of obscure internet connections and a lack of time for anything other than what
has to be done followed by recreational consumption at various watering holes...I am home! Actually for anyone who ever gets the former as an excuse from anyone you email in
Nairobi..thats bollocks! theres cyber cafes littering the streets in Starbucks proportions and its like a bob per minute,5 bob max im thinking, thats the highest ive found and i just heard bout
a place thats 50cents a min!..And not to mention theres broadband in quite a few offices these days...So hope ive not sold out guys, pole if i have,but seriously if you dont get mailed back
within max two weeks..its just laziness..And i hereby plead guilty, the latter of my excuses is probably closer to the truth than anything else...Ive been derailed by ma-haypeee!!!So yeh im back in Kenya..I love it...was apprehensive,all those thoughts ran through my head...will I be giving up some huge opportunity to make money or acheive ambitions faster by
moving back? Perhaps,but i think Id rather be home, trying to make it in a place where the day can be a laugh an hour..minimum,instead of feeling like im immersed in a socially
stagnant,isolating,largely surfistory environment in which i have to battle KungFu-fighting-biting cold for five months of the year. Ok,maybe im exaggeratting, but some people acclimatise
to living in another country well but I dont think I ever really did.Maybe a mix of the initial apprehension with the country of the move(South Park's anti-Canada campaign may have been
abit too sucessful on my young impressionable mind),the weather plus the hardly successful academic matter what went right- and the many amazing friends i made did make
things go right often- kichwa ngumu aka yours truly,mumbled dem fightin words every day of winter and swore to bust out of that refrigerated Alcatraz once i was done!and for real those
six extra months were enough exploration of the possibilities it offered after the neccessary academic ones...specially cus my search wasnt that successful with various part time jobs like
door-to-door sales and telemarketing wearing down my soul/sole..spiritual and podiatral(?istical?).But since Ive been back though Ive noticed somethings are just too much...the idiosyncracies that for me just make each day cus without fail they will happen and they will evoke emotion
every time,whichever one one it may be.My number one i call the 'ukona-change phenomenon' which tends to occur concurrently with its subsidiaries, the 'sina-change predicament' and
the 'ngoja-nitafute change phenomenon'. You guy!! like why doesnt anyone ever have change!??? quite seriously! I mean i know apparently its the sign of inflation, but Kimunya tells us
that the economy is 5.5 billion grown(n sexy) this year...(although maybe cus its only experienced by the top 10%?)..I mean when a vendor in the streets or market doesnt have change
thats still frustrating but understandable..theyll do maraos to the neighbours and ure sorted...But why Nandos?...a full Nandos?!? its an international company! and its in a Mobil international-ER company!Everytime i go...without asked if i can come back for change,or asked if i have change even before i start to can always see the
cashiers face falling when you hand over a big note to buy something at less than 50% of the note...Why?? oh why didnt someone go to the bank in the morning?? And the worst is when
i can see the change in the till...I can see it you stingy bugger, give it to me so i can get on my merry way before this quarter kuku cools down!Anyway, i could rant bout this for too long about this so ill stop..Then for people who drive..Man! how about those people who walk on the road?!?!eh! you guy...this is a huge metal object moving at a generally higher velocity than your walking human
flesh and bone...get out of the way?!?! and guys who think that being on a bike means they have rights to like half the road...the worst criminals of all!! In fact the real criminals are the road
engineers and government that made roads bila foot and bike paths!I understand why you have to walk on the road though, cus yani i didnt plan to do any outdoor hiking today and i
didnt wear my mountain boots..In my heels I cant navigate these side paths/gutters/ditchs/craters without coming out the victim of a mud or dust attack...And its always one or the other
by the way...mud or dust..happy mediums rarely occur and so your shoes are either brown or grey after walking on those so called 'paths'...Forget trying sandals...woo wee! often
have my toes looked pararaad another cactus style because i decided to sandal it that day!By the way, that day i happened to be in the presence of some very fine shoe salesman later
on....I could hear him thinking 'I mean this chile doesnt even lotionise her toes..upusi!' and there and there flirtation plans were dandiad propa! how many possible flirtations have been
katiad by the presence of unsightly shoes or many?? its a hinderance to the Kenyan dating scene def..anyway...i think im done...usually Im frustrated for about two mins but go on to laugh about it or whatever else i see on my way...Being home is special..a laugh an hour...minimum..!And to all the guys who read this and won an awards...well done...Msanii...props..props!!!